For my entire life I had been completely TERRIFIED of this day. The day I had to go through labor and deliver a baby. I was convinced it would be traumatizing, both physically and emotionally. It would be painful. It would be bloody. It would be chaotic. It would be, in short, a nightmare. But then your urge to have a baby and start a family finally overrides your fears and you just get pregnant and decide to deal with the agony when it comes, keeping in mind it can't last forever.I realize that the above scenario is a reality for some people. I was so glad that for me it was the complete opposite.
I woke up at at 4:30am on 12/31 feeling what I thought might be Braxton Hicks contractions (painless practice contractions). I tried to time them to see if they were real and if I could detect any kind of rhythm to them. They seemed to be about 8 minutes apart. So, I woke Jim up at 5:00 to let him know that I thought that MAYBE I was starting labor...
Like a movie cliche, he jumped out of bed ready to go gather our stuff and hit the road to the hospital. I laughed at him and told him to get back into bed. If this was labor, chances are we had quite a while to go. Besides, we weren't supposed to call the hospital until we hit the 5-1-1 mark (contractions 5 minutes apart, lasting about 1 minute, for at least an hour). So, we laid back in bed and tried to fall back to sleep... we didn't get very far.
At 5:35 I felt a slight sharp pain, not unlike how it would feel if the baby kicked my cervix. Then I felt it again a few seconds later, followed by a distinct "gush." I thought to myself, "Either my water just broke or I just peed the bed."
For those of you who don't know, once your water breaks you have 24 hours to deliver the baby, otherwise risking serious infection. So, we called the hospital and told them what was up. They told us to come in immediately. What I really wanted to do was take a shower but I figured I'd be able to do that once I got to the hospital and checked in.
We got to the hospital at about 7:00. The nurse confirmed that my water did break and that I was in labor. My blood pressure was a bit high, which was strange as it is always in the normal range. Because of this I was confined to bed and not allowed to take the shower I was hoping for!
Despite the doc's request to start Pitocin, I decided to go for it on my own for a while to see how far I can get. I had a long way to go since I was only 1cm dilated when they checked me. The doctor decided that I could try it for a while but she was concerned that my contractions were not strong enough to get me very far.
We checked again at 10:30 and I had made it 3cm. Again, I requested to go ahead without Pitocin for the time being. I was still able to breathe through the contractions pretty well.
We checked again at 1pm. By this time I was only at 5cm and while I was progressing, my contractions were still pretty weak (although getting more and more painful) and were not going to get me all the way there. The doctor pushed me this time to start Pitocin in order to avoid coming down to the wire and risking a c-section. I had decided in my birthplan that induction with Pitocin were necessary I would definitely need an epidural started BEFORE the Pitocin. I have heard nightmares about going the other way around.
This is where it gets kinda blurry... blurry in a good way. Once I got the epidural I was no longer watching the clock, counting to my next contraction, dreading every second. After I got my epidural everything was, dare I say, pleasant.
Seriously. I enjoyed the rest of labor and delivery. I'm not kidding. I enjoyed the anticipation, knowing that Naomi was about to arrive, wondering if she was going to be a 2008 baby or a 2009 baby. Emily and Chad and their friend Jashwant from school came and hung out with us. We talked, laughed, watched TV, (they) played cards. Jim and I even napped for a while. I didn't feel a thing! And this is what we did until about 11:30pm when I finished dilating and the baby was engaged and ready to be delivered. Chad and Jash went to wait outside. Jim and Emily stayed with me to watch the baby being born.
I admit, this is where I got REALLY nervous. Not about Naomi's arrival, but about pushing. Really, I was terrified of the physical trauma that pushing could leave behind. But, at the point of no return, what can a woman do? So, I pushed.
With an epidural, if you haven't experienced this, pushing is a bit tricky. The doc had to literally tell me HOW to push because I couldn't feel anything. In fact, I was so numb below the waist that the part of my body that hurt the most were my TEETH. I had just had my braces adjusted a couple days before so they were still sore. And that was my only complaint. I think the doctor thought I was crazy when I vocalized that discomfort!
I think this is where I was amazed, once again, at how smoothly everything went. My doctor handled everything exactly how I would have want it to be handled. Everything was calm, I had great music on in the background, a cool washcloth on my forehead, and the lights dimmed in the room. The hour that I pushed went by quickly - I just took it one push at a time and before I knew it, Naomi had arrived: January 1, 2009 at 12:34am.
Emily noted that Tori Amos' "Happy Phantom" was on as she was born, if you are curious. She also said something that made me really proud. Apparently, I make giving birth "look easy." Also, I guess my pushing face looks like I am smiling, although I can say that I was really working hard on the pushing and I was not intentionally smiling. But, it makes me feel good to think I looked really happy when Naomi was coming into the world.
To back up for a second, I have to give serious props to Jim. He got through the whole thing like a total stud. He was calm, he held my left leg as I pushed, he surprised me by actually watching Naomi being born AND cutting the cord! If you missed the post I wrote about this previously, read it here. You'll note that he made a complete 180ยบ in this area as we had previously decided that he would NOT watch and NOT cut the cord. I just think it ended up not being as scary or gross as we had prepared ourelves for. The worst part, he says, was having to sit and stare at my placenta for 20 minutes as it sat in the metal bowl on the table while they tended to the baby and stitched me up (no worries - only a minor tear requiring 2 stitches, and that didn't hurt either).
And that was that. The room cleared out, and soon it was just me, Jim, and Naomi. And we were completely blissed out. I can say for myself I fell in love twice that day: once with my new, perfect little girl, then once again with my husband, the man who gave me the biggest gift I could ever ask for.
